top of page

The Gottman Method: What Is It & How Does It Work

Updated: Apr 24

Welcome to the Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, a local therapy clinic on the Sunshine Coast offering Gottman therapy!

Developed by renowned relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method has helped couples all over the world strengthen their bonds and enhance their understanding of each other.

In this latest blog update, we will be exploring the Gottman Method, what it is, how it works, and how it can benefit your relationship.

What Is The Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is a research-based approach to couples therapy, emphasising emotional connection, respect, and affection.

Unlike traditional therapy models, it focuses on evidence-based strategies to improve the health of your relationship. This method focuses on the belief that healthy relationships are built on a strong foundation of mutual understanding and effective conflict management.

“Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.”

John Gottman - Co-founder of the Gottman Method.

The Gottman Method | Couples Therapy Sunshine Coast | Gottman Therapist Sunshine Coast

How Does The Gottman Method Work?

At the heart of the Gottman Method are seven core principles, each designed to deepen the friendship and understanding in your relationship, while also constructively addressing conflicts. These principles, which are foundational to the Gottman Method, include:

Shared Love Maps

This principle of the Gottman Method involves building an emotional map of your partner's likes, dislikes, and personal experiences. It's about storing and cherishing information about each other to deepen your understanding and connection with each other.

Nurture Your Fondness & Admiration

This principle emphasises the importance of expressing care and appreciation for your partner. It's rooted in the idea that a strong relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect and admiration, which often begins with a deep friendship.

Turn Towards Each Other Instead of Away

Turning towards your partner rather than away involves engaging with your partner and showing them they matter. It means choosing to spend time together, listening actively, and making space for your partner in your life, especially when it's challenging or in times of conflict.

Let Your Partner Influence You

The concept of letting your partner influence you is about embracing shared decision-making and respecting each other's choices. It calls for a balance in decision-making processes, where both partners have equal say and respect for each other's viewpoints.

Solve Your Solvable Problems

This principle of the Gottman Method focuses on identifying issues that can be resolved and addressing them using conflict management skills. These skills include approaches like Softened Startup, Repair and De-escalation, Physiological Self-Soothing, accepting what cannot be changed, accepting influence, and finding compromises.

Overcome Gridlock

Overcoming gridlock is another important principle of the Gottman Method. This principle deals with identifying and moving past life's stumbling blocks. It's not always about solving problems but more about taking steps to navigate through them and find a path forward together.

Create Shared Meaning

Creating a shared meaning as defined by the Gottman method is about building a life together that is rich in meaning for both partners. It goes beyond day-to-day activities and includes creating a shared culture filled with unique symbols, rituals, and an understanding of each other’s roles and goals.

All of these principles are equally important in the Gottman Method, and can help you to create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

FAQs About The Gottman Method

Is the Gottman Method suitable for all couples?

Yes! It's designed for couples at any stage, whether you're deeply in love or navigating challenges, been together 1 year or 40 years!

What issues can the Gottman Method address?

From communication breakdowns to infidelity, the Gottman Method can handle various relationship issues. You might not feel like its possible to fix a marriage, but it is. I see this happen year after year with my clients.

How does it differ from other therapies?

The Gottman Method is backed by years of scientific research and focuses on practical skills to improve your relationship. And, the popularity of it must mean it works!

Does the Gotman therapy work?

Gottman therapy works by focusing on building a stronger connection between partners, and improving communication, understanding, and conflict-resolution skills.

Can I do couples therapy by myself?

Absolutely! Solo couples therapy is a great way to help you to focus on current issues in your relationship and put in place strategies to improve your relationship.

Why did Madonna choose this form of couple therapy?

Madonna chose to train as a Gottman Therapist as she had been seeing more and more couples in her practice and really felt the need for an evidence-based framework to help her be more effective as a therapist and also to help couples develop skills inside the therapy room that they can then translate into their life outside the therapy room.

Another reason Madonna became a Certified Therapist is that relationship distress is so painful for people and a marriage ending is huge for a couple and their children. Madonna felt a real obligation to the couples who were seeking out therapy and help to give them the best possible therapy possible.

About Madonna Hirning, Certified Gottman Therapist

Madonna Hirning, our skilled Certified Gottman Therapist at the Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic, brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to her sessions. She's trained in the Gottman Method, ensuring that couples receive the most effective strategies to deepen their connection and navigate challenges.

Madonna Hirning | Couples Therapist Sunshine Coast | Gottman Therapist | Psychologist

Our Therapy Options

We offer a variety of options to suit your relationship needs. Whether you're looking for private sessions with Madonna or interested in our group couples therapy workshops, we provide tailored experiences to help your relationship thrive.

Each session is designed to be a safe space for growth, learning, and reconnecting with your partner.

Contact Your Gottman Therapy Experts

Want to learn how the Gottman Method can transform your relationship? Reach out to us today. Whether you have questions or are ready to start your journey, we're here to guide you. Call us at 0406 211 587, or visit our Contact Page to book a session.

Embrace this opportunity to nurture and strengthen your relationship with the guidance of the Gottman Method.

Stay Updated With Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic

Don’t miss out on the latest updates and upcoming workshops from Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic. Stay tuned to our blog and follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

Reviews For Our Gottman Therapy Services

See what our clients have to say about the impact of Gottman Therapy on their relationships.

Sunshine Coast Couples Therapy Review | Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic | Gottman Therapist Sunshine Coast

33 views0 comments


bottom of page